Frittering: The Boneless Blob of the Shetland Islands

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Treat yourself to something wicked from the Spooky Isles collection!

The Boneless, or Frittering, is a shapeless, foul-smelling entity from Shetland folklore that brings terror and misfortune, writes PAUL LONARDO

The Boneless Blob of the Shetland Islands

We share our planet with many strange lifeforms, unusual creatures that walk the Earth’s surface alongside us.

However, about 71% of our world is covered by water, so it stands to reason that there are many more exotic organisms that inhabit the depths of our oceans, lakes, and other bodies of water that we know little or nothing about.

Our seas are vast ecosystems, but for humans these are harsh and deadly environments.

As a consequence, 95% of our oceans have not been explored, so a full accounting of the variety and forms of aquatic life that dwell there remain a mystery. Every once in a while, however, something bubbles to the surface that humanity has never seen before.

Collectively, these organisms are often called ‘sea monsters,’ and some are well-known, from the allure of the mermaid to the terror inspired by the Kraken to the shy plesiosaur throw-back from the Triassic Period that lives in the Scottish Highlands’ Loch Ness.

If you’re from the Shetland Isles, you are among very few people who have knowledge of an unusual blob and pale organic matter that washed up on shore many years ago.

The Shetland Islands, located 110 miles from mainland Scotland, were shaped by billions of years of shifting sand and sea.

Its natural landscape is among the most dramatic in the world, and is teeming with wildlife, from orcas and puffins to the famous Shetland ponies and dolphins. This secluded coastal community, with its beautiful white-sand beaches, has a population of about 23,000, and an occasional visitor known as The Boneless, an entity that has become an inseparable part of the island’s rich folklore.

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This mindless entity will appear, riding on the ocean tide and then slither away from shore to attack people in the middle of the night.

The unsuspecting wake to the sound of a sickening splat as its amorphous body slaps up against the doors and windows like a huge mass of wet meat.

The precise shape and size of this monster varies from narrative to narrative, because no two people who encounter it ever see it precisely the same way. However, it is agreed to possess a blob-like body that is durable and rubbery, with a rank odour. It has been described as a slimy white cloud. Some compare it to an alien jellyfish. Others have said it looked like a decapitated and quartered human torso.

All concede that if you stare at this alien and frightening form for too long, you will be left severely traumatised and often completely insane. The Boneless is regarded as a ‘frittering’, a shapeless ghostly apparition that can cause people to die from sheer fright.

The foul-smelling frittering is also thought to carry deadly diseases, becoming a harbinger of general misfortune for all those who bear witness to its existence.

Differing explanations have been offered to its origins, both human and otherworldly. There is a notable consensus, however, that The Boneless is not a living entity, lacking consciousness and will of its own. Instead, it is likely a force of nature that comes and goes like a hurricane or a flood.

I submit that this only makes the Frittering all the more terrifying because it is incapable of empathy or mercy. It appears without warning, and its random victims have no chance to protect themselves from its malevolence.

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As for recent sightings, it is interesting that just this past September, people began finding white, sponge-like substances on the beaches in Placentia Bay, Newfoundland.

Then there is the Great Pacific Garbage Patch (GPGP), which is estimated to be more than 1.5 million square kilometres in size and growing.

Located in the North Pacific Ocean, between Hawaii and California, the GPGP is considered to be the world’s largest accumulation of marine debris.

While these examples have been proven to be man-made environmental liabilities, the product of plastic waste broken down into tiny particles that float in huge blobs amid ocean current patterns called gyres.

I wouldn’t get to close them, because it just might be The Boneless.

What do you think of The Boneless or Frittering? Tell us your thoughts in the comments section below!

PAUL LONARDO is a freelance writer and author from New England with more than 20 years of experience, specializing in cryptids, local legends, and paranormal history. His work has been featured in various genre magazines, and he’s a contributing writer for Tales from the Moonlit Path and a member of the Horror Writers Association. You can follow him on Instagram @PaulLonardo13 and X @PaulLonardo

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