Have A Grotty Grotbags Christmas!

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Grotbags appeared in many hilarious Christmas specials. GEMMA JOHNSON takes a look at the festive output of the miserable TV witch

Grotbags Christmas

I have made no secret that I love Grotbags, I am actually slowly morphing into her, and I wear my ‘trainee’ Grotbags badge with pride. 

Carole Lee Scott is a complete icon and so I am fully on board any and all opportunities to write about that gloriously grumpy green witch.  With this in mind, I have looked at the various different Christmas Specials that Grotbags was part of.  As well as thoroughly enjoying the chance to watch old Grotty, I have also made some important festive observations…

I need a wand

In 1984, Grotbags was surprisingly chipper, quite out of character actually, singing and dancing with great merriment.  Do you know why? She had a wand that allowed her to put the Christmas decorations up with the simple flick of a wrist.

That’s right, no climbing up into a dusty loft, no unravelling endless bunches of lights and… this bit is mega important… no back ache from carrying everything up and down the stairs. Even more impressive is that the magic wand also went and did the Christmas shopping AND wrapped the presents, leaving Grotbags free for merriment and mischief. 

It’s OK to get Hangry but make sure you say sorry. 

Hangry – that period of time when you are hungry, and it is making you angry and emotional.  Grotbags descends from her castle to visit the Windmill, becomes overly sentimental when hearing Rod sing a Christmas song, decides she is hungry and wants to raid the Windmill for food. 

With no food there, she instead kidnaps Emu and then ends up in an argument with the Princess of Whimsical Castle, checks herself and then backs down, apologising. 

Standard range of emotions in our house, especially in between Christmas and New Year when the food is depleting, and no one wants the hassle of food shopping – surely we can’t be the only ones! 

Do ‘You’ and whatever makes you feel fabulous!

In 1983 Grotbags is filled with excitement – she has been invited to a party at The Witches Institute. 

She is getting her hair done and trying a new ‘do’ – she is thrilled with the results, the castle creatures not so much. 

It reminded me of when I got a set of hair crimpers for Christmas in the early 1990’s and overused them.  I thought I looked amazing, having looked back at the pictures, I can confirm that I did not.

Grotty does have a new dress and she is feeling completely, wonderfully fabulous and isn’t that what matters the most?  I have a quiet Christmas planned but I think I will take a leaf out of Grotty’s spell book – if you encounter someone dressed in sequins doing the Aldi run, it is likely to be me. 

Go with the flow

Sometimes you just have to accept that you have no control over what is going on around you.  Christmas can bring mayhem and madness to even the calmest of households. 

In the same episode where Grotbags is getting ready for the party, she decides that she needs to take a Christmas gift to impress the president – Emu, she wants to take Emu. 

Cue a fight at the castle, Grotbags and Crocodile getting lost in the woods, Grotbags falling over in the mud and then being stuck up in a tree laughing hysterically. True, it didn’t go to plan but as long as you can laugh at yourself then it will all turn out just fine. 

Sing to break the tension

In 1985, Grotbags and crew featured within the Royal Variety Show which aired on Christmas Day.  Grotbags storms the stage during someone else’s act (to be honest I think that some of the audience were quite relieved – it was really rather bad). 

Determined to be centre of attention she enters into a Grotbags rant about the ‘brats’ in the audience (genuinely, I can’t say this enough – I love this woman!) which is interrupted by the arrival of Rod and Emu. 

Grotty is not at all happy and so she challenges Emu to a fight to the background of boos and hisses coming from the audience. 

Rod steps in and starts singing a Christmas song, the audience follow, sensing defeat Grotbags joins in, and harmony is achieved.  So, the lesson here is that if you have some minor festive disagreements in your household have some songs ready to sing. 

My personal repertoire features 1990’s Take That songs and some dodgy TV commercials. 

Have a gloriously Grotty Christmas wherever you are and whatever you do!

Have you seen any of these Grotbag appearances? Tell us your thoughts in the comments sections below!

Watch Grotbags: We Need A Little Christmas

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