Happy Diamond Jubilee! STEWART KING, author of Diamond Jubilee Apocalypse, celebrates Her Majesty’s 60 years on the throne by listing his Top 5 Royal Executions
To celebrate Her Majesty’s glorious reign I’m going to be giving away my latest book ‘Diamond Jubilee Apocalypse’ for a limited time to Spooky Isles readers. If you have a Kindle then simply click on this link ( ) and download it while the getting’s good. The promotion will only last a few days. It’s about a Diamond Jubilee street party in a chocolate box English village that goes horribly wrong when turkey party products infected by a bird virus turn the inhabitants rabid and martial law is instigated. You know the old story…
I’ve had a great reaction to the story but some people have reacted to its gore content as if royalty and violence aren’t obvious bedfellows. However history has shown us that they certainly do go hand in regal velvet glove.
Here are my top five royal executions. I’m sure you have some of your own favourites.
Executed 14th May 1631
First up is the man who initially appears to be a victim of severely unenlightened times but was actually something of a bounder. ‘Aiding buggery’ was the charge. King Charles mercifully granted a postponement of execution for the Earl to repent for the crimes of sodomy, rape (of his wife) and being a papist. That’s ‘papist.’ The charges contained such rhetoric as: ‘seduced by the instigation of the devil, he wickedly, devilishly, feloniously committed that detestable abominable sin.’ He was beheaded on Tower Hill.
Executed 19th May 1536
For charges of adultery, incest and treason Henry VIII gave Anne the dubious honour of being beheaded by a sword. Her ladies removed her headdress and necklaces and then tied a blindfold over her eyes. The executioner, Rombaud, was so taken with her beauty that he tried to distract her by saying ‘Where’s my sword?’ before delivering the deadly stroke. The sort of misdirection you employ when feeding a baby only slightly messier…
Executed 27th May 1541
For making the mistake of siding with Katherine of Aragon against King Henry VIII this unfortunate sixty-eight year old woman was taken to a private area within the Tower of London but attempted to retain her dignity by refusing to lay her head on the block. Because of this ten blows were required to behead her, the first only opening up a gaping gash in her shoulder. That’s gotta smart.
Executed 31 January 1606
King James I watched the trial of the gunpowder plotters and them being dragged from the Tower to the Old Palace Yard at Westminster, opposite the building they had attempted to blow up. Fawkes, although weakened by protracted torture, managed to jump from the gallows, breaking his neck in the fall and thus avoiding the agony of the latter part of his execution His lifeless body was still quartered and distributed to ‘the four corners of the kingdom,’ to be displayed as a warning to other would-be traitors. To this day UK residents celebrate by burning their lips on baked potatoes.
Executed 23rd August 1305
No such luck for Bill. For high treason and crimes against English civilians King Edward I had him stripped naked and dragged through the city by a horse to the Elms at Smithfield. He was hanged but released still alive. After that he was castrated, eviscerated and had his bowels burnt before him before he was beheaded and cut into four parts. His head was dipped in tar to preserve it and then placed on a pike over London Bridge. His limbs were displayed in Newcastle upon Tyne, Berwick-upon- Tweed, Stirling and Perth. At that point, they were sure he was dead. How does it feel like to be a winner, Bill?
STEWART KING is a journalist, script editor and author of X FACTOR ZOMBIE MASSACRE, BLOODBATH ON THE TITANIC and STRICTLY CHAINSAW PSYCHOS. An omnibus of these first three stories – TRIPLE FLESHBURGER WITH FRIES is now available. Coming soon – DIAMOND JUBILEE APOCALYPSE. Download his ebooks from Amazon here. You can follow him on Twitter here @XFactorZombies